Do You Love Me Or Hate Me?
by Karkalicious-Karkles
Summary: Sollux can't decide if he's red or black for Eridan. He knows Eridan only feels hate for him, but he can't decide which of the seadweller's quadrants he wants to be in. Red/Black Erisol, everyone is alive AU, Alternia is populated, rated M for troll sex (bulges/nooks) in later chapters, non-descriptive smut for now.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Okay, so I wanted to write Erisol and here is Erisol. It's both red and black, since I really like the idea of Sollux flipping between feelings and hhhhh it's just fun to write. It's gonna be a multi chapter, rated M for swearing and non-descriptive hate-pailing and then later for more, ahem, _explicit_ pails. Those will be red pails I think though. Idk. Oh and I also buy into the whole "Sollux has 2 of everything" thing, so he has 2 bulges and a split tongue and all that fun stuff. Enjoy.

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"SOL!" Eridan shouted, swinging the door of the yellowblood's hive open hard enough to make a large _slam_ when it hit the wall.

Eridan stood in the doorway, face purple with rage and steam practically coming out of his ears while Sollux was hunched over his husktop, coding yet another virus.

"What the fuck do you want, athhole?" Sollux asked, looking up from his screen.

"You sent me another fuckin' virus!" he yelled.

"I haven't thent you anything in weekth!"

"Bull! You made my husktop blow up!" Sollux groaned.

"Hypothetically, if it wath me, what would you exthpect me to do about it?"

Eridan rolled his eyes and walked out the door, returning a few minutes later (much to Sollux's dismay) and dropping the burned and broken remains of his husktoo on the floor by Sollux's desk, pieces shattering smaller upon the impact.

"You're gonna fuckin' fix it!"

"Nope," he said. "You're on your own."

"No," Eridan said, pressing a sharp claw to the tip of Sollux's nose, "you're gonna fix it and give it back and _apologithe._" He mimicked Sollux's lisp to be irritating, emitting a small growl from the other.

"Fine," he hissed. "I'll fixth your thtupid huthktop."

"You'd better," Eridan spat before whipping around and storming out the door, cape fluttering behind him.

As Sollux fixed the husktop (a difficult feat since he was so good at making explosives) his hate for Eridan burned inside him. He despised him, loathed him with every fiber of his being.

He just wouldn't admit that he hated how much he loved him.

No, he didn't _really_ hate him, not the blackrom hate that Eridan apparently felt for him. In reality he was unbelievably flushed for the seadweller, but it was more complicated than that. His multiple personalities confused him as to what he felt; some days he blushed at the thought of his name and others he hated him with the burning fury of a thousand dying suns.

But Eridan hated him, plain and simple, so he guessed that if they were going to be in any quadrant, it'd be the darkest shade of black imaginable.

By the time the purpleblooded prince returned, Sollux had the husktop completely fixed.

"Is it finished yet?" Eridan whined, swinging in the door.

"Yeah, it'th done."

"Took you fuckin' long enough." He walked over and inspected it, it was just like new. "Did you rig it somehow?"

"No athhole, I had a ton of fun cleaning up your thtupid dithathter and am exthited to do it again."

"It's your fault, you sent me the virus in the first place."

"I did not, you're jutht blaming me!"

"No I'm not, you useless lowblood! You broke the fuckin' thing in the first place!"

"Even if I did, which I didn't, you should know not to open any for the fileth I thend you," he said with a smirk.

"Fuck you, you incompetent piece of filth."

"Douche."

"Prick."

"Printheth." Eridan snarled at Sollux, baring his teeth and gripping him by the shirt collar.

"Don't call me princess, you filthy pissblood." With that he shoved him forcefully to slam into the wall, and Sollux hissed as his back made contact with the wall of his hive. He used his psionics to shove Eridan to the floor, and said seadweller landed in his back with a thud. Sollux took the opportunity and leapt on top of him, pinning him to the floor and snarling.

"Don't push me, Ampora."

"Why not? Short temper?"

"_Very._"

"Ooh, I'm _tho thcared-"_ he began, mimicking the other's lisp again, but he was cut off by Sollux gripping the sides of his face and slamming his head to the floor. "OW! FUCK!"

"Don't push me," he repeated.

"Why not? Afraid of enterin' a blackrom with me?"

"I'm not afraid of _you,_" he said with a growl. "I'm _afraid_ of hurting your delicate little thelf. You're _weak,_ ED. You're weak and I'm not gonna be the one to break you."

"You're not gonna fuckin' break me, you ass," he snarled. "If anythin' I'd break you."

"Wanna tetht it?"

"...Are you sayin' you wanna pail?"

"Only if you don't think I'd hurt you."

"Oh _please,_ you couldn't break me if you tried."

"Challenge acthepted."

With that, Sollux gripped at the neck of Eridan's shirt and ripped it down the middle, and Eridan hissed.

"Do you have any idea how fuckin' expensive that was?!"

A few hours later, both trolls lay naked on the floor, bruised and bloody and panting heavily, genetic material spilled over the edge of the bucket and dripping onto the floor.

"I... fuckin'... _hate_ you," Eridan managed.

"I... hate you... too," Sollux replied, though something deep inside him told him that he was lying in saying that. Oh well, he'd ignore it. Still, he was worried that he'd hurt the other. What if he did? He wouldn't be able to live with himself. "...You okay?"

"Why do you care?" Eridan spat, and Sollux winced at the harsh tone in his voice.

"Becauthe I need you alive, athhole."

"...Hey Sol?"

"What."

"Black for you."

Sollux's heart ripped in half at that moment, the moment it was confirmed that no, he would never be anything but Eridan's hatemate. He felt like there was no more hope left in the world, that all of Alternia was crashing down and all he could do was sit by and watch. He hated it, he hated Eridan and yet he loved him so much, he couldn't decide but hey, he guessed it was better to be in _some_ quadrant with him. He'd rather have that than nothing at all.

"Hate you too, fishfuck."

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**A/N:** Okie so there's chapter 1. Have fun my little shippers.


	2. Chapter 2

The only way to explain how Sollux felt, was lost.

On one hand he hated Eridan, but at the same time he'd decided he really didn't want a black relationship with him. He wanted red, red red red, he wanted to hold and kiss and snuggle the fishy prince, he wanted to hear him blabber on about his day and he wanted to surprise-kiss him and pick him up and carry him to their respiteblock, which they'd share of course because that's just what matesprits do. He wanted Eridan to be his, he wanted to lay his head on the seadweller's lap while those soft hands and fingers ran through his hair, he wanted to be able to hug him gently from behind and kiss his shoulder and dance with him when there's no music, he wanted to see him smile all the time. He didn't want there to be blood when they pailed, he just wanted to kiss him softly and show him how red he was for him.

When he felt red for him, of course.

That was the other problem: Sollux still felt black for him half the time. He couldn't be full on kismesis' with Eridan because he felt red for him too, and he couldn't be full on matesprits because he felt black for him as well. While some days feeling red for him, like the entire universe revolved around Eridan's happiness, there were days when he wanted to rip him apart and make him watch while he destroyed everything he loved. He sometimes just wanted to see purple tears in that asshole's eyes.

Well, sucks to be Sollux.

One day, when Eridan was barking in Sollux's ear about how stupid and worthless he was while the Gemini was busy coding (a new virus to send to Eridan, because even though he felt red for him today he was still pissed about the seadweller just standing there yelling at him), he suddenly stopped typing and stared blankly at the screen.

"...Sol? Are you fuckin' listening?!"

Actually no, he wasn't, but at that moment he got tired of listening to Eridan's bullshit and he'd had enough. He stood up, turned to face the Aquarius (who stood a few inches shorter than Sollux), gripped the front of his shirt and smashed their lips together. Eridan was panicking, trying to pull away, but Sollux didn't let him. He was going to enjoy the only red kiss he would ever get, whether the prince liked it or not, an oh, was it red.

While their lips smashed together rather than gently pressed there was still a gentle touch to it, there were no teeth involved (much to Eridan's surprise) and there was a comfortable sigh from Sollux's end. The seadweller flushed purple, confused and a little excited. A _red_ kiss from Sollux, a _red_ kiss from his _kismesis,_ that was something unheard of. He liked it. A lot.

But just as Eridan was starting to relax into the kiss, the yellowblood broke it and looked at the other, red and blue eyes meeting purple. The second the seadweller opened his mouth to speak he found himself being shoved out the door, Sollux slamming it behind him. He was too stunned to do anything, so he just walked sown the stairs of the hivestem to go back to his hive, his cheeks flushed purple.

Sollux sat down at his desk again and rubbed his eyes, groaning. He actually did it. He kissed him, he kissed him and it was red, it was as red as his right eye and he really started to regret it when he began thinking about how much more Eridan was going to hate him. He knew that the Aquarius knew that it was a red kiss, and it would have been perfect if he hadn't been struggling to get away.

He knew it was as close to perfect as it would ever be.

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**A/N:** Eeeeeee chapter two! Ok don't worry, it seems really sad now but I promise it's gonna get better. I'm not that much of an asshole. Gawd I love these two.


	3. Chapter 3

Eridan Ampora, now more confused and angry than ever, having thought about the kiss last week a lot, stormed right up to Sollux's door and pounded forcefully on it.

"SOL!" he shouted with a growl. "SOL, OPEN THE FUCKIN' DOOR!"

Sollux, on the other side of the door, groaned and sat up. "Goddammit ED, I'm buthy!"

"Shut your lispin' mouth and open the door!"

The mustardblood got up from his desk, where he'd been talking to Karkat, and walked to the door, ignoring the fact that he hadn't even gotten dressed today. Who the fuck cared, it wasn't like he had anything to dress up for. He swung the door open, wearing his pajama pants with one blue leg and one red one and a large Gemini shirt, likely the one he'd worn the day before and neglected to change. He wasn't wearing shoes or socks and his hair was a mess, and his glasses looked like they'd been put on while he was half asleep, the bridge slipping down and them hanging somewhat crooked on his face.

"What do you want."

"That's no way to greet your kismesis, or should I say flushcrush?" Eridan sneered. Sollux started to close the door, but the path was blocked by Eridan's foot.

"You're not my flushcrush, get over yourthelf."

"Oh _please,_ I am _so _your flushcrush. There wasn't anythin' black about that kiss, you glorified nerd."

"I'm a hacker, thankth for uthing the proper terminology, and you're not my flushcrush. If you were I'd shoot mythelf."

"Then why aren't you dead? Last time I checked, black kissin' involves bitin' and clawin' to get away."

"Maybe I didn't feel like a black kith, hm? Get over yourthelf, I completely hate you."

"Prove it. Gimme a black kiss right now."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"Come on Sol, I'm waitin'. Show me your black emotions for me."

"I don't want to," he repeated.

"Because you're flushed for me."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Sollux, feeling the annoyance building up inside him, gripped Eridan and let their lips crash into each other, biting Eridan's bottom lip and hearing him yelp, then shoving him away.

"Black enough?!"

"I fuckin' hate you," Eridan sneered before he stormed off again, and Sollux slammed the door and slumped down against it.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the golden ring that Eridan always wore on his index finger, the same one that he'd accidentally left at Sollux's hive after the first time they filled a pail. He'd intended to return it, but when he held it between his long and slender fingers it reminded him of how Eridan always played with it on his finger, pulling it off and twirling it around and putting it on again, then spinning it around and pulling it off again, and he remembered how cute he always looked, a little "I don't care" look on his face and the bored expression he always seemed to wear. Then he saw how he smiled when he laughed, of course never at anything Sollux said but when he caught him laughing with Feferi or Nepeta. He loved that smile, he wanted to be what caused it. Since he found it he still couldn't bring himself to return it. He held it in his fist and a yellow-tinted tear rolled down his cheek as he thought of the one that would never love him the same way.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Apologies for my absence, if anyone even remotely cared idk. Family stuff, bluh. I'll try to write as much as possible though.

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After a few days Sollux eventually gave up. Eridan hated him 100% and he 50% hated him back, and that total 75% hate outweighed the 25% flushed feelings in their relationship. He did the math.

He realized he was torturing himself thinking about it, so he decided to ask the only person he knew could help him.

- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

TA: kk!

CG: WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DO YOU WANT.

TA: kk ii need help.

CG: WHAT?

CG: ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE GODDAMNED BEES? I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT.

TA: no, ii'm not gettiing riid of the bee2. they only got out twiice.

CG: OH GOD, HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THOSE THINGS NEED TO GO? A MILLION. I'VE SPENT SWEEPS TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU TO LET THAT GO. THEY FUCKING STUNG ME ON THE HAND, I COULDN'T GET ON THE HUSKTOP BECAUSE IT HURT TOO DAMN MUCH.

TA: the bee2 are not goiing anywhere!

TA: can we plea2e get off the topiic of the bee2?!

CG: FINE. WHAT DO YOU WANT THEN.

TA: ii need help wiith ed. we're kii2me2ii2e2 but ii feel a liittle red for him.

TA: 2hould ii try two be hii2 mate2priit?

CG: WHOA, WAIT, HOLD THE FUCK UP. YOU'RE FLUSHED FOR THAT ASSHOLE?

TA: only half the tiime.

CG: OF COURSE IT WOULD BE HALF THE TIME. IS HE AT ALL FLUSHED FOR YOU?

TA: ...

TA: no.

CG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ASKING. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW TO GET INTO HIS RED QUADRANT? HOW TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU? IF HE LOVES YOU AT ALL?

TA: ii'm a2kiing you two help me fiigure out what ii feel for hiim. ii'm flu2hed for hiim half the tiime and ii hate hiim the other half, but he only hate2 me!

CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME ABOUT IT? CLEARLY HE ISN'T FLUSHED, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU IN A WAY HE DOESN'T? IT'S FUCKING INSENSITIVE TO HIS FEELINGS AND IT'S BOUND TO MAKE HIM HATE YOU MORE.

TA: but ii ju2t want hiim.

CG: WANT HIM HOW? DO YOU WANT HIM AS A MATESPRIT OR KISMESIS, LET'S START THERE.

TA: ii can't choo2e!

CG: SO FUCKING CHOOSE!

TA: ii can't! iif ii wa2 hii2 kii2me2ii2 ii wouldn't be able two hurt hiim liike a kii2me2ii2 would and iif ii wa2 hii2 mate2priit ii would be pii22ed at hiim half the tiime! ii don't want two hurt hiim, ever, but iif ii have two ii can't!

CG: OKAY, OKAY, FUCKING RELAX.

CG: IGNORING EVERYTHING ELSE, HOW DOES HE FEEL ABOUT YOU?

TA: he hate2 me. ju2t hate2 me.

CG: SO BE HIS KISMESIS. HE'LL BE HAPPY AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY HALF THE TIME, IF YOU WERE MATESPRITS HE'D BE MISERABLE AND YOU'D ONLY BE HAPPY HALF THE TIME. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. JUST SUCK IT UP AND ACT LIKE YOU HATE HIM EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T, AND BESIDES, IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM YOU'LL WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT. IF HE'S HAPPY HATING YOU, THEN YOU'D BETTER BE A FUCKING GENTLEMAN AND RETURN HIS HATE.

TA: ii kii22ed hiim.

CG: YOU DID *WHAT*?!

TA: ii kii22ed hiim and iit wa2 red and ii loved iit.

CG: ...WELL?

CG: WHAT DID HE DO?!

TA: ii don't know, but he clearly diidn't want two be kii22ed. he wa2 2truggliing the whole tiime.

CG: OH MY FUCK, SOLLUX, YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID.

CG: YOU DON'T JUST FUCKING KISS YOUR KISMESIS WITH RED FEELINGS BEHIND IT.

CG: HAVE YOU EVER ONCE PAID ATTENTION DURING MY PICK AT MOVIE NIGHT?

TA: nope.

CG: IT SHOWS.

CG: JUST DON'T FUCKING DO THAT. IF YOU RED-KISS YOUR HATE-MATE IT'S GOING TO GO BADLY AND SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL LIKE THE FUCKING EPITOME OF EVIL, PAIN AND TORTURE.

TA: ...

TA: ii feel liike you're overdramatiiziing that a liittle.

CG: PROBABLY BECAUSE I AM. THAT'S NOT THE POINT, THOUGH. THE POINT IS THAT YOU CAN'T JUST SUDDENLY FEEL RED FOR SOMEBODY AND YOU SURE AS HELL CAN'T JUST KISS THEM FOR NO REASON FOR A QUADRANT YOU'RE NOT IN. YOU HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND CHOOSE WHICH QUADRANT YOU WANT HIM IN, AND WHILE I RECOMMEND KISMESIS IT'S UP TO YOU TWO.

TA: ...fiine.

TA: thank2 kk.

CG: SURE.

CG: IS THAT IT? I'M KINDA BUSY OVER HERE.

TA: yeah, 2orry two bother you.

TA: thank2 agaiin.

CG: YEAH YEAH.

- carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling twinArmageddons -

Sollux sighed and sat back in his seat. He knew Karkat was right, he was almost always right when it came to quadrants, but it was just too damn hard. He loved Eridan, he loved him so much, and while he hated him some days he wanted to love him, he thought he felt more red than black but he didn't know, because on the days he felt black for him he was sure he was crazy for ever thinking he was flushed. He was so confused, but his short, nub-horned friend was right. No matter if he felt red or black for him he wanted Eridan to be happy, and if being his kismesis was what it took to make him happy then he was gonna be the best damn kismesis Eridan Ampora had ever seen.


End file.
